The 10: Founder and CEO of Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated, Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz
Exploring the depravity of losing 14 times to the same opponent and German engineering at it's finest.
5 things that have been more awesome:
Shredded coconut — if I wanted to eat my own dead skin, I’d go ahead and do it. Stop sneaking it into granola bars, crisps, and treats as filler and DEFINITELY stop putting it in cake. LEAVE THE CAKE ALONE (Sorry, Mandola’s this is you)
The Post Office closing at 2pm on Saturday. How on earth am I supposed to do my part to save the post offices if it’s not even open during regular business hours? Apols! Fedex got my money this time. They were open at 3:30pm.
Agatha All Along — I want to love it, but I can’t. The Gen Z child witch is always classically and annoyingly stomping his little foot when things don’t go his way, the gist of the whole show is basically me watching a group of clowns scraping by a series of escape rooms, they killed off Kitty Foreman (!!!) and Patti LuPone aka EVA PERON barely gets to sing back up harmony one time. MCU: More Endgame less bad knockoffs of Hocus Pocus.
Mitchum changing up their formula and leaving stains all up on the pits of my shirts. It destroyed a tank top so bad I had to throw it away mid camping trip for fear of everyone thinking I was seeping toxic sludge. Laundry tips welcome. Also, money for 100% new shirts.
Kansas losing to KState again. Travis Goff: can you tell Lance we’d like to win a few games and maybe show up as something besides drunken toddlers on the football field? Thank you.
5 things that are poppin’ off:
Mandola’s Italian Kitchen (all things outside coconut’ed cake) — special shoutout to the Fedelini Pachino lovingly referred to as the Al Pacino with shrimp. When you’re here, you’re really family. Want four Lone Stars and a bowl of spaghetti? Check. Freshly made gelato? Check. Waitstaff in fantastic shirts that say, “Legalize Marinara,” “How I Cut Carbs [clip art of a pizza cutter],” and '“What the Focaccia?!” Check check check. 10/10. Go everyday.
Bucee’s Car Wash (and vacuum!) — Officially the world’s longest car wash (anc vacuum!). My neighbors are professionals when it comes to a knowing a good car wash. After I got back from Bucee’s Katy, my neighbor Obi walked by and instead of his usual lecture on how my car needs to be spiffed up he said, “dang. That car’s lookin’ good. Real good.” The people know quality.
Gearheads Outdoor Store — the dudes here have free water and their tagline is water is life! They were so so nice about letting us fill up on hella gallons of water to take all over Arches and Canyonlands and to our totally devoid of water campsite at Ken’s Lake. They had hella recommendations about how Arches is shaped like a giant lollipop, some arches are cool, some are overrated, some are worth doing in the morning, some are good for sunset, there are two water spots in the whole park, one tastes like toilets and one is good. Definitely stop in next time you’re in Moab.
Ruby's Inn Cowboy's Buffet & Steak Room — an international showcase of the best America has to offer. Cowboys. Steak. Rooms. Like being at EPCOT, but instead of drunkenly trying to flex your broken, god-awful German (Ja! Ja! Bier! Danke!) at their Biergarten pavilion, the Germans are at the American dessert pavilion, flexing German innovation. Young German hiker-engineers have solved the problem of a disparate buffet dessert stations by taking plates with 4-5 whole cake slices to the sundae bar, where they excited point and shout “das schokolade sauce!” which they then apply directly and abundantly to said cakepile. Brilliant and endlessly entertaining.
Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead with special emphasis on the section about Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz, and his being the CEO and disrupting founder of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. She’s pulling together research backed claims on empowering high achieving teams, and the most exceptional cartoon villain of all time. HOW DID THIS TWEET (X???) ONLY GET ONE LIKE?
I thought this article title was a reference to the Laverne and Shirley theme song. Either I was wrong, or I don't know as much about the Laverne and Shirley theme song as I thought I did. Granted, I've never actually watched Laverne and Shirley and only know the theme song from the 14 times I've taken the Lakefront Brewing brewery tour in Milwaukee and they force everyone to sing along to it at the end.